Have you ever had this feeling in the pit of your stomach, but you didn’t know how to interpret it?
Or have you ever made a decision that turned out unfavorable, then thought about how you should have trusted your gut?
Well, that’s at the center of this empowering conversation with Stacie Barber about mindfulness, learning to trust your gut, being boldly unapologetic in decisions, and choosing yourself all while raising our little ones to do the same.
Listen, learn, practice, and grow. And then head to staciebarber.com to learn more about her as a Lifestyle and Mindset Coaching.
Follow @dreamworkcreatives on Instagram and Pinterest for more mompreneur tips like these.
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More about Stacie:
Stacie is a Transformational Mindset and Life Coach for women who want to come back home to themselves — in mind, body, + soul. She loves guiding her clients to trust in their “inner compass” and stop second-guessing themselves. Through mastering the art of turning down the volume on external expectations and tuning back into their inner knowing, the women she supports begin to remember who they were before the world told them differently, and in turn, reconnect with their authentic desires, vision, and purpose. She genuinely believes that each woman has the ability to create a life free of apology and full of opportunity. She provides soulful, authentic mentorship and guidance through curated transformation and opportunity containers throughout the coaching relationship + at her brick and mortar studio, The Mindful Body. She trusts humanity’s sheer power and pure resiliency and believes that we are always being called into OUR version of excellence. It’s become her life’s purpose of guiding amazing women to step into their unique power by shedding the shame and claiming their legacy so they can live the life that they fully deserve.
Get The Mompreneur Manual: https://bit.ly/mompreneurmanual
Danielle Towner (3s):
You’re listening to Deamer’s Den Podcast where entrepreneurs come together to chat about business, marketing, and mompreneurship on the journey to catching their dream. I’m you host, Danielle Towner, creative marketing consultant at Dream Work Creatives and co-author of the Momprneeur Manual. I focused on helping you build a profitable online business, monetize your website and make sales from your content. So let’s get started. Welcome back guys, for another episode of Dreamers Den Podcast. It’s so great to be back after a short break.
Danielle Towner (43s):
I remember like a few episodes back, I talked to you guys about rolling out the Mompreneur Manual. The book that I co-authored with Chassity Parrish of RoadMap2Balance4Momz. So that’s a go now. And so many opportunities and doors are opening from that. And we just opened our first, Mompreneur Manual Strategy Group Coaching, and that’s been going well. We have some other things in store, but it’s great to be back. So I’m getting things back rolling with the podcast and I’m starting off with a special guest today. She’s awesome. And I’m so glad to have her on here.
Danielle Towner (1m 22s):
Stacie Barber, who is a transformational mindset and life coach for women. And she works with women who want to come back to themselves and mind body, soul. She loves guiding her clients to trust in their inner compass and to stop second guessing themselves, which is awesome. A lot of us do that so. But through mastering the art of turning down the volume, external expectations and tuning back into their inner knowing the women she supports begin to remember who they were before the world. Stacie genuinely believes that each woman has the ability to create a life free of apology and full of opportunity.
Danielle Towner (2m 7s):
She provides soulful, authentic mentorship and guidance through curated transformation and opportunity containers throughout the coaching relationship at her brick and mortar studio, the mindful body. So we’re going to talk to her today about her business and about being a business owner and a mompreneur. And how that’s been going so far. And she’s going to give you guys some tips about reconnecting with yourself and listening to that inner voice and being unapologetic about it. So thanks for joining us, Stacie.
Stacie Barber (2m 45s):
Thanks so much. That’s a beautiful intro.
Danielle Towner (2m 50s):
So I’m glad to have you on. And the first thing I want to do is give you the opportunity to tell us a little more about yourself. Tell us about your business and how you got started with everything.
Stacie Barber (3m 4s):
Yeah, absolutely. Well, thanks so much for having me. I’m so honored to be here with you and your community and tribe, and I don’t take that lightly. I appreciate everybody’s time so much, especially being a mom and in business. And so thank you for being here and listening and for the opportunity to share a bit about me and my story and sort of what got me to where I am today. And really, you know, when people ask me, what is it that got you to where you are? How did you end up in this space? I really, truthfully say the answer is life has been my greatest teacher and so many ways and avenues that have sort of pivoted me and detoured me into this journey that has reached where I am now.
Stacie Barber (3m 52s):
And I’m so grateful for that because in the moments that it’s actually happening, sometimes it feels really confusing and scary and unsure. And so really the whole process of that has been one that I can turn back and say with 2020 vision, “Oh, I get it.” Like, I understand why I went through some of these things. And really my story begins as a young child. I grew up in a family home where my father struggled with alcoholism. And so really starting to feel the energies in my house at a very young age feeling what it was like dad was at home, when he wasn’t at home.
Stacie Barber (4m 33s):
All of those different components and really feeling I’m the big sister of two. So really sort of taking on this protector role, like I’ve got to, you know, I almost took on this little she bear. You know, I’ve got to take care of me and my sister and my mom. But I, from a young age, I knew that I wanted to really help people and take care of people and serve. And I really feel like I’ve got this God given gift of just connecting with other people. And so being able to process that at a young age, going through all the motions of that was really a skill-building component for me in our home. And then, as my parents’ marriage ended up terminating as a teenager, I ended up going through a lot of rebellion and different parts of life that have also been my greatest teacher.
Stacie Barber (5m 29s):
Long story short, I found out I was pregnant at the age of 17. It was an unplanned pregnancy with someone that was not meant to be my life partner. I was very, it was very clear. I ended up making the most difficult decision of my life of terminating the pregnancy. And anyone that has experienced that, or knows someone that has experienced that they understand that there is this, there is this whole that comes after that. And the way I’ve described it is really, it felt as if the nurse handed me a blanket of shame. Not from her, but that’s the way I really took it on myself as that I was flawed in some way.
Stacie Barber (6m 12s):
From that point on, that really put me into a tailspin of really unhealthy ways of thinking and being that I felt, you know, it hit me like rock bottom. I got to that space where I was so ashamed of my choices and my decisions that I really couldn’t find a way to forgive myself for so long. And as I began to get to that space of really feeling like there was no place lower than I could get. There was this little nudge inside that said, you know, reminded me that you have a choice.
Stacie Barber (6m 52s):
In any given moment, we have a choice as to how we’re going to allow a circumstance to be part of our experience, or allow it to define us a choice to be able to move forward or to stay exactly where we’re at. And I’m so grateful for that. Like, it felt like little beams of light coming in for me to be able to realize for myself that, yes, I do have a choice of what this means for me and what this looks like moving forward. And that really was such a huge catalyst for the rest of my life. To take ownership back into my hands and realized that no matter what choices I’ve made or things that have happened in my life or experiences that I’ve had, they can all be learning experiences that I can grow and learn from.
Stacie Barber (7m 40s):
But at the end of the day, they don’t have to define me. And I’m the one that gets to decide if they do or not. Right? And so being able to take that, that was so, so healing. And going through the healing process, myself, having to go through deep inner work, to find the ability to forgive myself, to move through the process of all of the pain that, that had caused really started to give me the tools for myself so that I could process the healing in my own body. So that then I could in turn, turn around and help others going through the same thing, different parts of that.
Stacie Barber (8m 20s):
And so being able to have that opportunity at such a young age was so empowering for me because it reminded me of the power of healing, you know. That it’s always available, that we can find it within ourselves. We have tribes of people that are there to help us. And that really helped set me on the path of, “okay, what does this look like? How do I, how do I want to help people?” And I’ve done that in so many facets. I’m so grateful to be able to, I’ve done it in a hospital setting as an occupational therapist. I own, like you said, The Mindful Body, it’s a Pilates and mindful movement studio.
Stacie Barber (9m 1s):
I get to work with amazing clients there through coaching, which really is my heart. I love it so much. Being able to just meet another human on the other end of a screen or a phone or in person and help them start to see all of these things within them, that they have the power to be able to shift the trajectory of their life. They have the power to make different choices for themselves and really help instill that confidence and go down to the depths of the beliefs and values and other things that might have been holding them back so that we can really start to excavate that, you know. It’s sort of like a whole landscape project, so to excavate the ground and the garden.
Stacie Barber (9m 44s):
Yeah. So that’s really, I mean, it started such a, you know, I could look at the whole journey of life. And at each point, there has been something that has been a learning component that has helped me get to where I am today.
Danielle Towner (10m 0s):
Fantastic. I really appreciate your transparency about the things that you’ve experienced. Like I too am, I come from a family who went through divorce as an early in my teenage years, so I can understand that. And then, even with what you went through, like you said, at 17. A lot of women, they still hide that in shame. Or I’ve been told that you may think that it’s going to go away in that moment, but you still carry that with you as if you took, like you took the child home with you and so, I really appreciate your transparency. And just speaking about that healing process and that it is possible, and it’s so awesome how you were able to turn that pain into a purpose in helping other people to get through similar situations.
Danielle Towner (10m 56s):
So that’s fantastic. That’s awesome.
Stacie Barber (10m 58s):
Mm, thank you. Well, I really truly believe the power of our story is so impactful. And if we, if we keep it covered, if we keep it under the blanket, what good, what good is it doing for anyone? And especially a situation like that. That was so painful. If I just, if that was it, if that was like, put the period at the end of the sentence, like what, what was the purpose? And I love the way you said that finding purpose in the pain, because it really truly is so important. And I have witnessed and experienced so many times when I’m transparent about my story or someone else is, how much it impacts someone that might be sitting across the room that has gone through the exact same thing that has not gotten to that space to be able to share it yet.
Stacie Barber (11m 50s):
But they know in that moment that they’re not alone. And, you know, I always go back to the, Mya Angelou quote, that we’re more alike than we are different. And how are we going to know that if we don’t talk about it. And so that’s really the whole for me, that is the way that I share my truth. And my word is you get what you see and what you see is what you get.
Danielle Towner (12m 16s):
So speaking of that transparency, I think that like last year and everything that we went through with COVID has kind of shifted a lot of people into coming together and telling their stories and being more transparent. But also with COVID like with you having a physical location, with a mindful body being a physical location, how do you handle risk management, previously and now, going forward? And has that kind of nudged you into starting an online business or considering starting an online business?
Stacie Barber (12m 53s):
Yeah. Oh man, it is significantly changed. How many ways can I tell the ways, you know? So with the Pilates studio, anybody that’s been to a studio that they have the Pilates equipment, we have a lot of the equipment and springs and different things that we have to be. We have to get them checked regularly. And there is always opportunity for something to potentially happen, right? So we kind of have to hold a little bit of a higher risk management than say, like a studio that has just mats. So that’s already sort of in our, in our background, but then you come into, you know, a, you get to the space where you have to physically close your doors, and then, which is terrifying for any business owner period.
Stacie Barber (13m 46s):
Because you don’t know if you’re going to be able to open them back up and, and if you do when, right. And then, and then on top of that, the process of reopening in a safe and responsible manner, that is conscious of every population, every age group that comes into your doors. It’s a whole different ball game. And I am so grateful. We really came back in very conservative. We started back in very slow. We were very mindful not to be cliche at all about the name, but we were very mindful about how we came into that reopening process because I wanted to make it very clear that we truly cared that people felt safe.
Stacie Barber (14m 38s):
That they felt that we were caring for them, that they felt like this was a space that they could come to continue to heal, to not have to worry about picking something up or. So I’m so grateful for that because of that process, because we decided to sort of keep it like a soft opening, as things have continued to open up, it’s just organically grown and people have, felt really cared for through the whole process versus all right. We’re, it’s full house. Everybody’s back in. Doors are open. It was like, it was a real conscious way of bringing people back in. And, and I can see, you know, and even the last like month that as people are getting vaccinated and feeling a much more safe, that there is a different energy that they’re bringing into the studio.
Stacie Barber (15m 29s):
But I can tell you the thing that really made the biggest impact for me. Our clients are amazing hands down. The people that came back to the studio right after, like right when the doors were open and as they continued, they’re so grateful to be there. They’re so happy to be able to come and move and breathe and take care of themselves. I have been fed so much on the energy of the people that are there and the instructors, like we came back with this sense of, thank God we have this place. Thank God we have this community, this space. I had this one gentleman, he’s such a love.
Stacie Barber (16m 9s):
He’s probably in his mid seventies. And he came up to me and he said, “thank you so much for keeping the doors open because this place is like my second home and I don’t know what I would do if it weren’t here.” That’s why we’re here. And, you know, from the very beginning, when we had to close the doors, it was a true test of trust and surrender. And I really offered it up to the universe. I said, you know, listen, if we’re meant to reopen, help us stay afloat. And if we’re meant to close the doors and this be it, help me process that and be okay with that in the moment. And I really stayed true to that, that anytime I would start to feel, you know, that sense of nervousness or anxiousness come up, it was like, you know, listen, this is out of my control.
Stacie Barber (16m 58s):
This is out of all of our control at that point. You know, I’m just going to take one day at a time. And, and because of that, it has been, it’s been a really healing process for a lot of us, you know. It helped us really sit with ourselves for a bit and realize what it is that we’re wanting to spend our time on and our energy and for that, I’m grateful for sure.
Danielle Towner (17m 22s):
Awesome. Awesome. First of all, I commend you for the way that you said you handled the reopening. Cause I’ve seen it handled different ways. I’ve actually seen some people who never closed, but zip the lips on that. But I commend the way you handled it. And I think that people appreciate that and they remember that. And like you said, it helps you, you know, to grow even more. So it’s because of that. And then the way that you said that you kind of just took your hands off of it and offered it back, you know offered it up to the universe and you know, that kind of helped with not being anxious about it.
Danielle Towner (18m 8s):
I think that’s a lesson for everybody. A lesson like you said in even in what you teach in, how to not get worried and look at what else is going on around you or what someone else has going on and to just stay focused. And like you said, stay faithful, stay grateful, and stay positive about it.
Stacie Barber (18m 35s):
Yeah. Yeah. Definitely.Thank you. Thanks. It was, yeah. I’m just grateful to have really gone through so many other processes in life to be able to see this, see this for what it was. That it was a situation that none of us expected. None of us had any idea what would ever come into fruition and that we literally had very little control over it at some points. And so, you know, isn’t that yeah, it is. It’s such a great lesson for all of us to just say, okay, you know, like, what is it that I can control? I was just having this conversation with my eight year old, the other day of she was getting kind of worked up about something.
Stacie Barber (19m 15s):
It’s like, okay, those things, or something that someone else said or did, that’s out of your control. What you can control is what’s happening inside of you. And that’s the only thing any of us can really control, right. And so taking my own medicine is always a good practice.
Danielle Towner (19m 35s):
Right, right. That’s so funny. Like a friend of mine, she’s an author too, but she was having, she had something going on and she was talking to a friend about it. And her friend was like, well, maybe you should take your advice on page such and such in your book. But so like, in your experience of working with these women, what would you say are some of the biggest reasons that they mistrust their gut in the first place?
Danielle Towner (20m 15s):
Like why would you say, in your experience, what have you observed have been the reasons why they go against things that they may desire or changes that they may want to happen in their life?
Stacie Barber (20m 27s):
Oh yeah. Well, number one, I think is what we could bucket into the term of conditioning. Of what we’ve been told, what we’ve witnessed, what the world has, not even consciously sort of said that we need to , figure out. Like, for instance, if you think about, I often go back to my mind, `, going through the process of being in high school and you know, your sophomore, junior year, it’s like, what are you going to major in? What are you going to, you know, what, what’s the plan? So you gotta figure out what you’re gonna do with the rest of your life before your brain’s even fully developed. I still think there’s something wrong with that, but yeah.
Stacie Barber (21m 10s):
And then, and then by the time you get to college, your sophomore, junior year of college, what, what internship are you going to get? And then what job? And then you get the job. And it’s like, the plan is to work on the job until you get your good benefits and retire, and then you get married. And the date, I mean, the day that my husband and I got married, no lie, like three people came up to us and said, “so when you’re going to have babies”. And I’m like, “what?” So there’s this unspoken plan. And sometimes spoken that we’re supposed to follow that it there’s like this, this big equal sign that says happiness after all of that, right. That this is the idea.
Stacie Barber (21m 50s):
That’s complete BS. And that doesn’t work for everyone for some yes, but for many that is not the way that it looks. And so I think really like the conditioning that is just set in place when we can really see it for what it is. That there’s this structure that helps us understand the way that things can look. But that doesn’t mean that’s the way they have to look. And so I really feel like it’s an opportunity for us to give ourselves permission to do things our way, the way that feels good. And I think so often if we could be honest with ourselves, when we’re in our younger years, we did things because we thought we were supposed to, or when we should.
Stacie Barber (22m 33s):
Right. And so really starting to, like I say a lot turn down that noise, turned down the opinions and the objections and all of the things that’s coming in from everywhere and really tune back in. Because there’s a little voice inside of us at all times since we were born. We came into the world with it to be able to tune back in so that we can start to hear, like, is this something that lights me up? Is this a person that I want to be spending my time with? Is this a venture that I want to take on? You know, really coming back in. And I think our bodies speak to different people in different ways. Some people, you know, they feel in their heart, some people feel in their guts, some people feel it, you know, a tingling in their body.
Stacie Barber (23m 19s):
But whatever it is, being able to really allow ourselves to first become aware of the outside noise that’s happening all around us at any given moment. To see it for what it is. It And then to be able to say, okay, that is what I believe or that isn’t what I believe. And I’m going to check in here to really get clear on what it is that I truly desire and want to create and manifest in my life. And so really I’ve experienced that in my life. I’m watching, I’ve got two little girls. They’re six and eight. I can already see how that conditioning is sort of seeping in, you know? And so it’s so wild to be able to be in the seat of a mother at this point to see that happen.
Danielle Towner (24m 3s):
And you’re just like, nooo!
Stacie Barber (24m 7s):
So, yeah, for me, that’s really, I think so often we get caught in the idea of what we think we should do, and I think that’s number one, for sure. And to be able to just start to kind of break that down and get really honest with ourselves is a really healthy thing.
Danielle Towner (24m 26s):
Yeah. I can definitely relate to seeing that, like even with to my son at three. He just turned three. But just being mindful of yourself and how they are observing you, but also walking that thin line of being, you know, giving them guidance, but without making them a windup toy or some type of robot, you know.
Stacie Barber (24m 55s):
Danielle Towner (24m 57s):
Yeah, yeah. It’s like you said, those, you know. working on breaking that cycle of not putting those expectations or that pressure on them and letting them like start to understand, like you said, trusting your gut and your discernment.
Stacie Barber (25m 15s):
Yeah, absolutely. One of the biggest things that has helped me. And one of the trainings that I’ve taken is really debunking the idea that there’s any such thing as failure. That t it’s always feedback. That there’s no such thing as failure that, you know, if, if we put something out into the world and we don’t get the response that we think that we should have gotten, or what. Looking at that, not as I failed, I’m worthless, whatever the commentary is like that we have going on in the back of our head, but it’s, what can I learn from this? What, what can I do differently next time? And, this also goes to the young age.
Stacie Barber (25m 56s):
I mean, you know, my oldest came home the other day and she’s talking about A’s and F’s at school already, right. She’s in second grade. And I’m like, God, this is how young we start to learn about the idea of failing. And it really is. It’s not, it’s not a truth. It’s not relevant. And but again, it’s having to come back to realizing that and breaking down the conditioning that we’ve been taught from such a young age to realize like, okay, I’ve got it. If I do my best, I follow my heart. I am listening to my intuition and I’m going for it, I’m doing my best. That’s all you can do. And you’re going to learn from that experience.
Stacie Barber (26m 37s):
And so that has also been really paramount for me personally. And then also being able to share that with others. You know, just go for it, right. You’re only going to get feedback.
Danielle Towner (26m 53s):
Right, right. Now, I don’t want you to give away all your secret sauce, but what are some other tips that you can share to help us start living that unapologetic life that you speak of.
Stacie Barber (27m 13s):
Yeah. Gosh, there’s so many, so many great tools. A tool that I have been utilizing a lot lately is human design. And if anyone knows about that or doesn’t know about it, it’s really great. And it essentially, the way it’s described it’s like science and astrology coming together and creating this really beautiful couple. But it helps you realize sort of who you came into the world to be, right. So it takes the moment that you came into earth, took your first breath. What how you sort of landed here and who it is that you’re meant to be, the different qualities that you hold within.
Stacie Barber (27m 55s):
And so that has been really huge for my clients. They’re like, Oh my God, I feel like I’m finally seeing that I’m understood. And this helps. It helps them so much make sense of themselves. But beyond that, I really feel getting back to becoming very clear and aware of the things that might be stuck in your subconscious mind. I once heard it called something that’s not the greatest hits that you would hear on the radio, the songs that play over and over and over, like, you know, them by heart, because they’re just playing all the time. There is a record of sorts in the back of our mind that’s on repeat.
Stacie Barber (28m 36s):
That it’s always saying the same things. It’s bringing up the same beliefs, values, and all different kinds of things and getting really aware of are those mine or are those things that I’ve picked up at some point of my journey and really getting honest with ourselves about what is it that is going on and this, on this cycle, this record over and over again, that I can start to release. That I can replace with something that’s really healthy. I often talk about the mind as a garden. And if you think about like a rose garden or any type of garden, if you let the weeds take over, then there’s no room for anything beautiful to start to grow and to harvest.
Stacie Barber (29m 22s):
And so there’s a process of really tending our minds as if it were a garden. Going in and observing, seeing where the weeds are, going in and pulling the weeds, fertilizing the soil, right. Really cultivating a really beautiful, rich soil. Watering, feeding so that you can then begin grow the things that you’re wanting in your mind or in your garden. And so really starting to sit with ourselves in that. And there’s so many beautiful techniques and tools to be able to kind of go there, but just to break it down is to be able to really get clear on what is the story that I’m telling myself every day over and over and over again, and realizing, is that serving me or is it not?
Stacie Barber (30m 9s):
Is it moving me closer to where I’m wanting to be in life or is it keeping me stuck? And if it’s keeping you stuck, then how can we start to replace those thoughts and beliefs and identifications with something that does serve me that does move me forward? And so that is really, that’s sort of the special sauce of it all. Go into the core, you know, go into the inner depths. That will begin to shift everything. Once we start to reorganize the thoughts and the beliefs and the values at such a core level, really doing the inner work.
Danielle Towner (30m 45s):
Yeah. That really takes, like you said, spending some time with yourself and just becoming conscious of those things, because we have so many thoughts and we say so many things throughout the day. And if you’re not taking time to really think about it or absorb what you’re taking in, what you’re putting out in those thoughts, then you’ll do things or say things and you don’t even realize it. So it really takes the conscious of that.
Stacie Barber (31m 19s):
Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent.
Danielle Towner (31m 22s):
Now speaking of spending time with yourself, I remember like the first time that we connected and we were in conversation, I had to give you my mompreneur disclaimer. That I had a three-year-old in the background and you may hear some noise or some sound effects and cartoons or toys, any of the above. And you’re totally chill. Totally cool with it and you’re like, I have kids too. And then one of your daughters made her grand entrance with her big hair wig on.
Stacie Barber (31m 56s):
She had a huge wig. That’s right, I forgot. It was bigger than her. It literally hit the ground.
Danielle Towner (32m 4s):
Yeah. I got to say hello. And it was like oh, it’s all good. We’re moms. We handle business. We do what we have to do. So like how do your mindfulness strategies help you stay in line or help you balance as a mom and an entrepreneur?
Stacie Barber (32m 24s):
Hmm. Yeah, absolutely. Well, I think just not taking myself or anything too seriously, like realizing that if my kid comes in the background, like it’s not the end of the world. Everything’s not going to self implode. Keeping like a healthy sense of humor about it all because I mean like, and this is me again being really grateful for the last year. I think it helps so many people adopt such a different sense of flexibility and understanding that I think was long overdue. Really that you know, it’s really like if you’re not having fun during the process, what’s the point?
Stacie Barber (33m 6s):
Like if I am being so hard on myself about checking all the boxes off and making sure that my kids are in all the activities and they’re eating all the perfect food, that’s not fun. And like, you know, really getting honest with ourselves that there’s only, we only get one ride in this life. We get one chance to do this thing. And if we’re stressed out and we’re not enjoying the process, really what’s the point, a. And what example are we setting for our kids? And I, you know, my kids have been my greatest teachers hands down by far to date because they keep me honest. They keep me on top of myself and the way I am, the way I’m treating myself, the way I’m treating others.
Stacie Barber (33m 54s):
The way I am, either reacting or responding to a situation, the way I’m relating to them, when things get escalated. It’s really been such an eye opening experience because there’s this split second, like, “Oh God, they’re watching, they’re listening. You know that there’s little ears, right? So it’s like this different stance of accountability. So that really, I’m so grateful for that because that has also transferred on to all other parts of my life. And, you know, as far as bringing in the idea of balance it’s you know, I don’t know that that really exists. But I think just doing the best I can, giving myself adequate time for myself, making sure that I have some Stacie time so that I am not completely, you know, empty cup, worn out, angry mommy or angry wife or whatever.
Stacie Barber (34m 52s):
That’s been huge. And for me that can mean like when my husband gets home taking a 30 minute walk by myself. Or we’ve really collabed on our schedule. So like there’s a day of the week that he does pick up and takes care of them after school. And that’s my day to like, get things done at the studio or on my coaching business. And, you know, really to get honest with ourselves of how much we’re trying to do. And that we’re not supposed to carry all of the loads by ourself. But what I have learned sometimes the hard way, because I don’t ask for help soon enough, as soon as I probably should, at the beginning of feeling a little nudge, a sense of resentment, starts to come up that, that I also have a choice to be able to allow it or not.
Stacie Barber (35m 40s):
And so I think as moms and businesses, especially entrepreneurs, delegating asking for help being really okay with that realizing that you aren’t supposed to do at all. Nobody else expects you to, but I think we sometimes put on like the wonder woman suit, you know, we want to do all the things myself included, but you know, if we really want to be able to enjoy the process and do our best, we can’t do it alone. And so that has been really huge being able to delegate and ask for help. And that’s been huge. And just remembering to breathe too.
Stacie Barber (36m 19s):
It’s been like the most simple thing that, you know, with myself or with my kids. If Any of us are getting kind of riled. It’s like, all right, three breaths. Slow, deep breaths. Come back in, you know, really starting to initiate that relaxation response in our bodies so that we can see clearly, because when you’re in a stressed out state of mind, you’re not thinking clearly or seeing things clearly. And so being able to get back into that relaxed, calm space where you can take in everything that’s happening and then choose your response. That has really been the biggest, the biggest part of the whole picture that has helped me by far.
Danielle Towner (37m 4s):
Right. Awesome. And I can definitely relate. I think that’s sort of in the space that I had to go into over this past year, and even now. It’s helped me because having him not go to Mom’s Day Out, like the plan was, I had to make some adjustments. And like you said, get some help, delegate, automate where you can. But also like you said, you have to look at the load that you’re taking on in general, whether you’re delegating or automating or doing it yourself. And I had to be realistic about what I could take on and take some things off of my schedule that I no longer enjoyed or that no longer were best for us as a family or just my business in general and start removing things until it felt better.
Danielle Towner (37m 55s):
And just telling some people no.It’s okay to say no. They’ll find somebody else. It’ll be okay. Setting those boundaries with your time and with what you’re willing and able to do and all of that. So I can relate.
Stacie Barber (38m 22s):
Oh yeah, man. I often talk about the power of no and I don’t know what has been ingrained in so many women, myself and so many women that I know. It’s like, our yes meter just wants to go off all the time. It’s like, yes, I want to help you do that. And I want to be part of this. And it’s like, but we can’t. And I heard this somewhere and I can’t recall exactly where it was, but it was the idea of you can do everything, but you don’t have to do everything right now. Like you can do anything you want, like, we can do anything that our heart desires, but we don’t have to do all the things right now. Like we just, we don’t. But I think when, you know, I think we can probably relate in this being like really passionate and multi-passionate, and having a lot of different things that you want to be a part of.
Stacie Barber (39m 12s):
It’s really getting honest with, I am one human being that has a certain level of energy that I have a lot of other things in my life that also need me, like, what can I realistically take on right now? Yeah. And I love that. Being able to just be like, sorry, not right now, maybe later or no. It’s so powerful, but we make it feel uncomfortable. And I think the more it’s, I like to say, it’s like a muscle, the more you use it, the easier it gets. Right. The stronger you’re able to be like, thank you so much for the opportunity, but that just doesn’t resonate with me right now. You know?
Stacie Barber (39m 52s):
It’s like, God, that feels good.Just to be like, no.
Danielle Towner (39m 58s):
Right, right. Exactly. I have, I definitely have to practice because we’re just naturally nurturers. And, but you know, you’re not supposed to work your fingers to the bonelike that. And I guess, for me, it was like I have to hurry up and do, I don’t know why I felt like I was in such a race to do everything, but now it just feels good to reverse that.
Stacie Barber (40m 27s):
Yes. I know. I get it. I’ve definitely gotten to that space before. And it’s likeI’m burning the stick on both ends, you know? And it’s, I don’t know. And I’m processing this as we’re talking about it. I don’t know if this is, again, going back to that whole, like go to college, get the job that dah, dah, dah, dah. Like, what’s next? What’s next? What’s next? and I think that it’s healthy obviously to have that growth mindset and that evolutionary, you know, I’m always expanding and growing, but to what end am I taking on these things? And can I get really honest about these three things that I’m involved in?
Stacie Barber (41m 10s):
Like this one thing really doesn’t light me up. Can that be okay just to release that? But I totally get it. Like, I’ve been in that space to the point where I’m like, all right, this is not serving me any longer. Like, what can I let go? Because you have to, and that’s true self care.
Danielle Towner (41m 26s):
Right, right. Yeah. That’s it right there. Yeah. So what is next, like where do you see yourself going next? Or do you have any projects that you’re working on? Like what do you have in store for the future?
Stacie Barber (41m 43s):
Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I’ve always got a million things going on up here. Until I decide pull it down. What has become really clear to me in the last year is there was sort of like a partition in my mind that was self created between the physical studio space and my coaching business that I had separated them into two different entities. And I became really aware of that through having some down time, to be able to process and feel into that. And I have recently started feeling the strong call to really marry the two, bring those really close together.
Stacie Barber (42m 30s):
And that has also meant collaborating with some amazing businesses, locally, some amazing businesses online. Being able to bring in all of the parts of what Stacie Barber offers into, into sort of like a hub, right. Versus I felt that there were parts of me that were sort of scattered there for a moment and it’s bringing everything back home. So that’s been really amazing. I’ve been working with a creative designer and a whole team around that. That’s just really helped me get clear on what it is that this looks like moving forward. So that’s super exciting to bring some of the coaching components into the studio space and bring what we do into the studio space, into the coaching components.
Stacie Barber (43m 17s):
So really marrying that. And then in the next couple months, I’m going to be launching my own podcast, which will be super exciting, continuing to have conversations like this. Yeah. And yeah, really just nurturing the coaching business and calling in amazing women that really resonate. Because that, it provides such a life force inside of me that I’ve never experienced with anything else that I’ve done in life. And so really allowing myself to take the time to nurture that and to be able to call in the women that are so deeply aligned into the work and are ready to make those big changes.
Stacie Barber (44m 0s):
And to get really honest and clear about all of the things that are sort of the little speed bumps they keep bumping up against so we can get them out of the way so that they can thrive. Yeah. So those are really some of the projects that have been, I’ve really been waiting for things to come to me because I’ve found if I go out scurrying looking for things, then I tend to get myself stuck in spaces that I’m not really meant to be. And so these projects have all really, really come me and started to resonate with them. So that feels really important and aligned.
Danielle Towner (44m 37s):
Yes. I’ve learned something similar about like, just not being on the chase. I’m not chasing but continually being who you are and showing the value that you have. And then the right people who appreciate and understand and recognize that, they will come. So that’s perfect. Well, congratulations to you on the podcast and your coaching and everything that you’re doing with the mindful body. So share with our audience, like how can they reach out with you to work with you or to get on the list to be on this phone smoking, hot podcast.
Stacie Barber (45m 24s):
Yes. Yeah, no, definitely. I would love to hear from anyone. So there are a couple ways. I, at the beginning of the year, I ended up watching the documentary, the social dilemma, and immediately popped off of all social media platforms for we’ll see. You know, but it was, it felt really aligned for me. So I am, the best place to find me is on my website. Because when you land there, you get to learn about me. You get to learn about the programs I have. I’ve got some great freebies on there. Be able to get on my email list to hear about things that are coming up. And so that’s my name staciearber.com, super simple.
Stacie Barber (46m 5s):
And then email good, old fashioned email. So it’s my name again, firstname.lastname@example.org. And so either way, I will get the message and I would love to be able to connect.
Danielle Towner (46m 18s):
Awesome. Keeping it simple. I like that. I’m more of a Pinterest person. I am on some other platforms, but Pinterest is still my number one and it doesn’t suck up all of my day and my time. So I totally get it. SEO never fails you, even if you get kicked off of any of the platforms. So, I get it.
Stacie Barber (46m 42s):
Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. I know. Yeah, absolutely.
Danielle Towner (46m 49s):
Well, you guys heard from Stacie Barber and if you want to reach out, if you want to connect or stay connected with her, then definitely go to staciebarber.com and get on her list and get some goodies in the process. Thank you so much, stacie for joining us today and Dreamer’s Den.
Stacie Barber (47m 10s):
Danielle Towner (47m 17s):
I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s episode as much as I enjoyed sharing with you. If you’re watching on YouTube, post your questions and feedback in the comments. If you’re listening from the Anchor platform, press that button and ask your question. Thank you so much for joining Dreamer’s Den. And as I always say, Dream Untile your Dreams come True.