#RelationshipGoals: How to Balance Business and Love

#RelationshipGoals: How to Balance Business and Love

Sure, the goal is to love what you do, but don’t forget to make room to always include the other love of your life.

In the midst of breakups, makeups, entanglements, and meltdowns, there’s still hope for love and business success.

Kick back, relax, and let’s talk entrepreneur balance.

In this episode, we’ll talk about how to kill it in business but also have a better than good relationship at home.

These are some realistic, healthy habits that you both will appreciate.

Source: https://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/hip-hop/9452377/cardi-b-opens-up-offset-divorce

Danielle Towner | Entrepreneur + Digital Creative Resources

(0s): We have to recognize that there can not be relationships, success, unless they’re is commitment, unless their is a loyalty and less, there is love and patience persistence. That quote from Cornell West speaks of any type of relationship, but it speaks to me specifically today and (hopefully to you) when I’m referring to couple relationships. Specifically entrepreneurial couples. It speaks to me in the level of work and commitment that it takes to make both of these things

0 (33s): work. Entrepreneurship is a unique task in itself. And me as a mompreneur, I often compare entrepreneurship to having and raising a baby. So, you know how much work and commitment that takes. But what if you throw in the mix your marriage or your relationship? And what that person is in entrepreneur too? Or what if in the midst of the relationship or the marriage, or they decide that they want to become an entrepreneur?

0 (1m 4s): How does that change things? Is it truly possible to have a good relationship and also have business success when there are a two entrepreneurs under one roof? This could be being in business together, it could be two separate businesses, or a combination of the two. Is it possible to find that success and how do they make it work? That’s something that I want to talk about. By no means, the Lord knows I am not a relationship expert.

0 (1m 37s): But I have had experience with entrepreneurship myself and with also having a long term relationships with entrepreneurs. Throughout the course of that, I want to share the things that I experienced. What I learned from that, the good and the bad. And what I can take and move forward from that and share with you to hopefully positively shape your experience with entrepreneurship and maintaining your relationship.

0 (2m 6s): Or being a power couple and having both a mix of a good relationship and success. So keep listening for more. Welcome back for another episode of Dreamer’s Den Podcast. Thank you for coming back if this is not your first time here with us listening. And if it is your first time, welcome and thank you for joining us.

0 (2m 44s): I help entrepreneurs build their brand awareness and online presence through content marketing, website design and digital products. But today we’re kind of just taking it easy on this chill episode. And I just want to talk to you guys. This is a topic that I come across all the time, and that’s having a relationship and maintaining good relationship as an entrepreneur. Just in looking at the media, everybody’s not in the spotlight as an entrepreneur, but we’ve seen the rise and fall of relationships. We’ve seen the entanglements, the mental breakdowns, and the emotional affairs and all of this in Hollywood.

0 (3m 21s): These things also happen in your own neighborhood. Recently Cardi B and Offset – Cardi B announced that she is filing for divorce from her husband and she simply said that they grew apart. After three years that they’ve been married, she said they’ve grown apart. Is it possible for that to happen already? I can see that happening, especially at the rate that things moved for her. Her career skyrocketed in a short amount of time.

0 (3m 54s): She got married, she had a baby and all of this is happening at the same time. I can see the, her experience and what she’s experiencing with saying that they’ve grown apart or with her just needing to maybe separate herself. She’s still really young at the same time. I can’t speak on how she feels or what’s going on in their household. But from my experience, I can see that happening with things moving so fast.

0 (4m 26s): What my point of all that is is that they are under a microscope or in a bigger spotlight. But even people who are entrepreneurs, who are just your regular, everyday person, people get to know you because part of the success in business is building that relationship. That’s the core of it. You build relationships with people. People know you, people get to know you. People want to feel like they know you sometimes depending on what you’re doing and how much of yourself you put out there.

0 (5m 5s): It could be within your community, within your city, or nationwide. Even just people have built followings on social media and people know them or they feel like they know them. So people get more heavily involved in what you have going on in your life. And that definitely can take the toll on you or it can also impact their relationship. Hopefully in a positive way, but it’s not always the case.

0 (5m 35s): Even though I’ve mentioned celebrities here they are business owners, they’re music producers, TV and film producers, actors and actresses. All types of celebrities are forms of business owners. But even your regular, everyday business owners, they go through some of the same things on a smaller scale. How is it possible as an individual business owner or as a power couple to, have a good relationship and maintain that success?

0 (6m 7s): I’ve learned some things along my business journey with dating or having long term relationships and trying to do that. It’s a balancing act, and it’s even more challenging if you have a family. I can’t speak on the part of a marriage, but it’s more challenging when you have like children involved because that throws another responsibility, a priority in the mix.

0 (6m 37s): There are some things that I’ve observed that I’ve talked to others about and that I’ve experienced myself that can help you work toward that relationship. Like the quote he said that I opened up with, it takes a lot of things. It takes a recipe, a combination of things to have that relationship and to balance that business. Commitment, loyalty, love, patience and persistence. And a lot of that requires you are not throwing in the towel at every little hiccup or everything that may not go the way that you planned it to go.

0 (7m 17s): And that’s the same with business. I think at the core of everything it takes having that same level of commitment that you commit to your businesses. That you’re not in it just for tomorrow or next month. You’re in it for the long run and you’re going to see it through. You may have to pivot, make some adjustments, go back to the drawing board or go back to your plans and remember what you communicated or what your goals were. But at the end of the day, you stick with it.

0 (7m 48s): I have some things here that, based on my discussions with other people and based on my experience, I wanted to share about how you can maintain a good relationship and have success as an entrepreneur. The first thing that I want to stay is probably pretty obvious is keep the lines of communication open. To expand on that, if you don’t share the same business with that person, you can communicate without breaking confidentiality if you have that to deal with in your business.

0 (8m 25s): But if you’re just now starting in your business, or if you are trying to expand, if you’re going to be working on something a little more intensely than you usually do, you wanna talk about that with your partner. Not saying that they, you have to ask for permission to do everything. But you want to talk about, “I’m thinking about doing this or I’m planning this or want to do this and this is the level of commitment it’s going to take for me.

0 (8m 58s): What do you think about this or how can we get this accomplished? Do I have your support with this or what are your concerns about it?” Talk about it and have a healthy dialogue about it and see if you can come to some type of compromise. Anytime there are adjustments or changes in the business, I think you should have open lines of communication and talk about that. Even if you had a rough day on your business, I think you should be able to talk about that to a certain level so that that person is allowed to understand what’s going on and have empathy for you.

0 (9m 38s): And so that they understand if you are not just in a crappy move for no reason, but its because you have something going on. Number two, I feel like you should decide together how much of your relationship you wanted to share it in the public. Whether you’re dealing with two entrepreneurs or one in a relationship, you should make that decision together. Like some people post on social media all the time on their business page or on their personal page.

0 (10m 13s): They post a lot of themselves together and people like that. People love it, actually. They want to know what’s going on with you, and that’s okay. That works for some people and for some people, it doesn’t. In my experience, I haven’t been the type to post things about relationships on either a personal or business platforms. I can’t say whether they will change or not. I don’t see that changing in the future, but some people do that and works okay for them. It works well for them, but once it’s out there is out there and you’re open to any type of judgment or a scrutiny, positive or negative.

0 (10m 51s): So you just have to realize and understand that. But when I talk about how much of your relationship you want to share, its not just about social media also. It’s just in the public in general. It could be if you’re in the business setting, how do you want to conduct yourselves in a business settings? Some people work together in a business or some people have a spouse or partner and no one ever knows anything about them. Because that’s how they choose to conduct themselves and that’s how it may work for them.

0 (11m 27s): And some people let the whole world know and shout to the rooftops, “this is my partner and this is whomever”, no matter what setting they’re in. So that’s something that you have to decide together and think about the pros and cons of that and what it means to you and what it means to that other person. Number three, I would say that you need to agree on a time to shut off work.

0 (12m 5s): This can go either way, they’re both of you are entrepreneurs are or not. You need to agree on a sensible time to shut off work.

(12m 5s): That’s not a factor of control. I think it’s a factor of freeing yourself. Because its not just about what you’re doing manually or physically with your body. Entrepreneurship is a mental workout and a mental development too. You need time to rest and recharge in multiple ways, but agreeing to its time to shut things off is empowering for the relationship and for yourself.

0 (12m 33s): Because if you’re your best self, if you’re giving yourself that time to unwind and to mentally reset, then you’re going to be in a better position for your relationship also. And it will cause the other person to not feel neglected or an ignored because of business. That leads to my next suggestion, which is to be intentional about scheduling couple’s time.

0 (13m 4s): And couples time can be as small or as large as you want it to be. It can be 30 minutes of watching a TV show, talking, or listening to music. It can be turning on a song, stopping and having a dance together. Or it could be a date night or it could be a weekend getaway, a night get away. It could be just a time to unplug, which is part of that time of shutting off work.

0 (13m 33s): Or it just could be a lunch date. The key part of it is to be intentional about it because if you’re not intentional about it, then you’ll keep desiring to do it, having the mindset to do it, or saying that I need to do, but it won’t ever happen. And you don’t want to treat it like a chore or something you have to mark off your list. Like “Dog, have to do this date night” or whatever. It should be something that you would forward to for changing your scenery and part of that recharging and developing your relationship for both of you.

0 (14m 10s): It may not be the same night every week. Some people say, “Wednesday’s are our date night” or “Fridays are our date night and Saturdays are our nights with the kids”. They have specific nights, but that doesn’t work out for everybody. Your schedule may change from week to week. It depends on the type of business that you have. But you should be able, if your making your plans monthly, weekly or have you do it, you should be able to look at your schedule and say, “I have this time that I can devote to just us.”

0 (14m 40s): Just our couples time and look at that other person’s schedule and be able to work it out. Make it a part of your routine to plug that into your schedule. And that leads me to the next topic because all of this shutting off work and scheduling couple’s of times. That’s a part of self care, but you need to schedule your own personal self care time.

2 (15m 7s): And I say that because you don’t want to become drained of your business. You may love what you do, but because you’re pushing so hard and overdoing it, it may start to feel like you don’t. Part of your personal self care time is taking care of yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally. And resetting and recharging so you feel empowered to keep going in your business and to keep your commitments to everyone else involved in your life, including the person that you love or that you’re building this relationship with.

0 (15m 46s): So schedule time to yourself. You guys, especially if you’re a power couple and are working together on the same business, you need some time apart. You see each other probably during the day. You may not work in the same office or have a cubicle together or anything like that. You may not be working from home together. But if you’re in the same business, depending on how large or small your business is, you probably see each other quite a bit throughout the day and later on.

0 (16m 21s): Or you may live together or you’re married and you see each other all day then. Don’t get to the point to where you’re tired of seeing this person’s face. You need to schedule your own personal self care time where its just you and God and also time where you spend with your friends or people outside of this person and outside of your household. And again, just like all of the other time, it’s going to be good for everyone. Number six is one thing that I discussed when I talked about running a family business.

0 (16m 56s): But I want to talk about this again because I think it’s that important and its to compartmentalize. There may be issues that come up outside of business. Everybody has their challenges ,has their disagreements and it happens in relationships, but you don’t want to be in front of professionals or be in front of people trying to conduct business with you and you’re arguing, you have the sour face, or you’re short or quiet, or the energy in the room is just nasty and negative.

0 (17m 35s): You don’t want to do that because it’s going to hurt the business and probably hurting the business will hurt you or hurt the relationship. You should do your best to try and talk things out like number one says in communication. Within your relationship and within business, you should do your best to try to talk things out or resolve it. But if you have to table something, then try to work on leaving that at home, leaving it where it is until you can get past whatever you need to accomplish in your business.

0 (18m 10s): And then during that home time, during that shut off time, then talk about it and and try to resolve it. And number seven, you should understand that money cannot replace or compensate for your relationship. I’m saying this from experience because throughout my journey as an entrepreneur – when I first started, I’ve worked on business projects as a couple, I have started my own business during a relationship, and I’ve operated businesses during a relationship.

0 (18m 45s): One thing I know I have to work on it and I’m still working on is the shutting off work part. I love the things that I do in my business. I love my business, but I also have those business goals and that growth that I want to continue to see. So it can become where I just continually work on it and I don’t wanna stop. And I don’t want that to get to a point to where it is cutting in on my time with things outside and people, outside of business.

0 (19m 24s): There still needs to be time for you to reflect on things. For you just take some quiet time and think about things. There needs to be time for you to – if you’re Christian or ,if you’re a spiritual person there needs to be time for you to meditate and study your word, and to continue to communicate and build your relationship with God. There needs to be times with your family, your children, and there needs to be times with the person in your life.

0 (19m 55s): Your partner and that you love. And so one thing that I’ve learned throughout this journey is that you have to understand that nothing can compensate for your relationship. you may be working, working, working and building and try and make all this money. But that person may be gone, or they may be tired of the delays and they may be gone. It could cause some major problems in the relationship.

0 (20m 28s): If you value your relationship more than you value money and you should, then you have to understand that and put that realistically into practice in your relationship. Let that reflect, then the way that you handled things or the way that you prioritize or organize things. Understand that money can not replace or compensate for your relationship.

0 (20m 58s): Nothing can. Number eight, don’t hesitate to ask for help. And this is business help or help with the relationship. You may be at a point to where you’re reaching your capacity with what you’re able to do. And that should also reflect in your bank account, your business revenue. If it doesn’t, you may have to look at, “okay, my price point is not where it needs to be. I needed to change my prices, I need to change my services or I’m offering too much.”

0 (21m 31s): There are some things that you may need to evaluate, but if your revenue is aligning with your capacity, that means it’s time to duplicate yourself or throw in some automations so that you can get more done in less time. Then you don’t have to take on so much and you may be able to shift your focus to working on the business instead of in it as much as you are. If you’re like me, I enjoy doing a lot of these things.

0 (22m 1s): Some things I may not want to give up or I may not be ready to give up, but think about those tasks that are taking out the most of your time or the tasks that you may not enjoy doing. Somebody else out there may want to do it, or may be able to do it better than you. There are some things in my business that I master and I do a great at, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t someone who doesn’t do a better than me. If I delegate that task, I need you to be as good or better than me.

0 (22m 37s): Recently I started delegating some things and I can say that the person or the people that I’m delegating it to are better than me. So look at that, evaluate that in your business and look at asking for help. So that you’re not taking on everything and taking up too much time that you can spend building your relationship or anything on personal time in making sure that your mindset and everything else is in the right order.

0 (23m 9s): As far as help with your relationship, that could mean talking to someone else that you trust that has been there or has experienced these things or talking to a counselor. So many people are so great afraid or ashamed of going to counseling because they feel like it’s a sign that they’re failing or that something is wrong with them, but that’s not what counseling is about at all. Just like if someone goes to a business coach, it’s things that they don’t know because not knows everything.

0 (23m 44s): So they can go to learn or they go to seek the expertise of somebody else and they can apply these things to their business. They can apply or they can look at things from a different perspective. They may have one idea, but you aren’t in their business. so you’re looking from the outside in. You may have something fresh to bring to the table where they can say, “oh, let me try this.” It’s the same with a counselor. You may be looking at, “okay, well, we do so great at business but they are looking at us like we suck in our relationship”.

0 (24m 20s): It’s not like that at all. You are basically going to implement some suggestions to help you do these things better, or to help you decide if this is the right fit, if this is what you’re supposed to be doing. If this relationship is where you’re supposed to be, if this businesses where you’re supposed to be and how can we make this not only work, but how can we make this be great. So don’t hesitate the ask for help.

0 (24m 52s): Don’t look so deep into it. Look at it as taking that action or making that sacrifice to get to where you want to be to reach your goals. So those are eight things, from my experience as an entrepreneur and being in a relationship, those are the things that I have come across that I’ve been suggested or that I can suggest based on my experience. Let’s recap all those. Number one, keep the lines of communication open.

0 (25m 25s): Number two, decide together how much of your relationship you want to share in the public. Number three, agree on a time to shut off work. Number four, be intentional about scheduling couple’s time. Number five, schedule your own personal self care time. Number six, compartmentalize. Number of seven, understand that money can’t replace or compensate for your relationship. And number eight, don’t hesitate to ask for help.

0 (25m 55s): I hope you guys have found this helpful in anything that you may be going through. Or even if you are a power couple are your, an entrepreneur that’s in a relationship and you guys are rocking it, let me know what you do. What’s your magic? What’s your secret to making your relationship great or being an entrepreneur who’s killing it right now. You can do that in two ways. You can either press the record button if you’re listening from the anchor platform. Or if you’re listening from my website, you can scroll down to the comments and you can place your remarks or ask your question there.

0 (26m 33s): So I hope to hear from you guys, thank you for listening. And as I always say, Dream Until your Dreams Come True.

1 (26m 43s): <music>

How to Balance Business with your Relationship

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Danielle

As owner of Dream Work Creatives, LLC, Danielle has the opportunity to use her gifts of business development and creative expression. She has a passion for helping solo entrepreneurs and small businesses make their dreams work through marketing and creative strategy. Danielle’s digital marketing services have helped countless businesses build their brand awareness and online presence using social media marketing, website design and content marketing. Her blog features business and lifestyle growth tips and “Dreamer’s Den Podcast: Entrepreneurs Making the Dream Work”. During her free time, she enjoys travel, movies, books and the endless joy of her little one.